


A Promise to Keep

by sasugab



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, not sure if angsty enough to be tagged angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 14:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasugab/pseuds/sasugab
Summary: I made lots of promises to you.I kept some, and broke some.But there’s one that I’ll do everything in my power to keep above the rest.





	A Promise to Keep

**Author's Note:**

> A fic I wrote for Tina as their santa last i7 Secret Santa 2017! (I promised I would post on ao3 after I got the time to and I'm dying because I don't have time)

_I made lots of promises to you._

 

_I kept some, and broke some._

 

_But there’s one that I’ll do everything in my power to keep above the rest._

 

* * *

 

_Unfamiliar emotions were whirring inside my chest -  I didn’t know what to do, nor where to go. All I saw was Riku trying his best to breathe, to fill his lungs with air, but he’s clearly having a difficult time to do just that._

 

_I took a deep breath, and quickly scrambled for the inhaler that my parents told me to keep at all times in cases of emergencies like these. It’s barely 3 in the morning, I think, but I’m glad my body was awake enough to rush and do my job. We went through the necessary steps to use the inhaler, and when Riku’s doing better than he was, he pulled me into a hug, and whispered a ‘Thank you, Tenn-nii.’_

 

_‘No problem, Riku. I’m glad you feel a bit better now,’ I manage to say. The constricting feeling lingering in my chest seems to have subsided, and yet there’s still something that bothers me, something that I can’t help but feel bad about._

 

_Riku looks at the window, the skies still blanketed with a soft light as a multitude of  stars shone brightly. He lets out a small, sad smile, and asks me “Mom told me that when we die, we’d become stars… Since I’m always like this and getting attacks, will I become a star before Tenn-nii does?”_

 

_I didn’t know what to say. My chest started to hurt again, and I looked at him, and tried to choke out some words despite my throat being unusually dry. “What are you saying… It’s too soon to become stars, silly,” I manage to tell him._

 

_“You told me we’d still sing together someday, after all! I can’t become a star until it happens!”_

* * *

 

 

It felt like I was being blinded by the sun, from either my dream or the actual thing shining from outside my window. The next thing I knew, I’m on my bed, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I recall that it’s been the umpteenth time that I’ve had the same dream, about Riku thinking about what it means to die as a child, on his hospital bed.

 

His attacks then were terrible. As a child, I didn’t know what to do to help him. I wished that I could share the burden so he could go out and do the things he’s always wanted to do - but he couldn’t, it was his burden to bear alone, and I couldn’t do anything but to be his support after he goes through the attack. I hoped for him to get well, to somehow get rid of his illness - but that was a dream too good to be true.

 

I remember trying to ask around the hospital about what I could do for that child, if there were any medical procedures that would let him live a better life. There was no way to cure it completely, but there was a procedure that would help control his condition. We were too deep in debt to afford it especially as it was just starting to emerge from the medical industry when I was 13, and it was only available abroad.

 

So… I did what I could. We were deep in debt, and there was finally a way to alleviate Riku’s pain, even ever so slightly. I didn’t want to think too much about the nitty-gritty, so I almost instantly said yes when Kujou-san gave me his offer. I never wanted to leave the family who gave me a home for 13 years, the family who loved me, the twin I’ve stayed with for the entirety of my life, but at the age of 13, there was nothing else that I could do if I wanted to achieve all these hopes and dreams as quickly as possible.

 

I’m pretty sure Riku cried over it, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he hated me, even. But as long as he gets that treatment, if his life would be better even by just a few years and he could experience all those things we held him back from, then it’ll be more than worth it. The only way I could’ve given him that was to follow the path that Kujou-san offered.

 

Maybe if he gets that treatment, he wouldn’t ever tell me again that he’d become a star before me.

 

* * *

  


_“Tenn-nii, the stars are shining brightly again tonight!” Riku beams, his face showing a smile that was even brighter than the stars. Happiness wells up in my chest more, due to the fact that Riku finally got to go out again today._

 

_Looking at the stars, I gave him a nod. The skies were beautiful, bathed with what looked like diamonds._

 

* * *

 

I do my best to shake away my thoughts, as I had agreed to meet with Riku today. There’s always a 50-50 chance of him being early or late, but I decided to prepare as it had usually been the former for the past few times. For the times he’s late, he laughs it off and tells me that he was too excited and couldn’t sleep.

 

I sigh, but still manage to let out a laugh. _‘He almost hasn’t changed a bit.’_

 

After preparations and trying to not look like a kidnapper when I’ve only donned a disguise so we can have a peaceful meet, I went to the donut shop that was nearby our old home. It looked a bit worn-off due to time, but it was still the very same place that never failed to make the both of us happy, both from the time that we were kids and even now, three years after our reunion.

 

A familiar voice resounded through my ears, telling me to head where it was coming from. “Tenn-nii, over here!” I then look up and see Riku’s soft eyes and his cheerful smile that never fails to greet me.

 

“I’m here, so don’t get too loud. You’re early again today, huh?”

 

“We can spend more time together this way, so I did my best, ehehe! I only turned my alarm clock three times, after all!”

 

And I remember him telling me that he usually turns off his alarm for five or more on a regular day.

 

He then beams and pulls me inside of the shop, going to our usual corner seat. He goes to order half a dozen of donuts, as it was his turn this time (we regularly switch between who stays at the table and who goes to order and pay). I browse through my phone to see if anything came up for today, then placing it back into my pocket after I see there was none and when he’s back.

 

For the past 30 minutes, Riku kept going on about the different programs he’d taken a part on. “And then... Yaotome-san cooked omurice for me that time we went to the cooking variety program together! Yamato-san was there too since he accompanied me, so after the program they ended up talking about something… uh, I think it was about going out for beer? Is it really that delicious? Ah! There was also this program…” and he managed to keep on going on.

 

I nodded and listened to him the entire time, feeling thankful that he had been enjoying activities without a hitch. I only spoke when I felt like I had to remind him about his health and how he should refrain from doing activities that would tire him out too much. To then ease my worries, he told me about how they prepare for practices and lives, and how Izumi Iori gives him his favorite drink right after practices.

 

This time, I could not help but cut him off before he went to another story. “Did Gaku make it to your liking?”

 

“Mhm! It was tasty! But nothing can ever beat mom’s omurice!”

 

I smile at him, and seeing the smile directed at me as well was more than what I asked for. Riku, with a healthy body and doing things he could enjoy made me think that the little kid strapped onto a hospital bed was nothing more than a bad dream.

 

We spent the day together and went to the cinema to watch a movie of his recommendation (it was a tear-jerker, typical Riku), ate lunch at a curry restaurant, then tried out the arcade until Riku was slightly tired. We then bought something to remember the day by. It was getting late when Riku and I finished, but Riku begged to go to one last place before going our separate ways - which is how we found our way to the nearby park.

 

“I… uh, don’t have a blanket, but will it be okay to look at the skies for a bit and sit down on the grass for a few moments?” Riku asks with a sheepish smile as he stops, the field filled with grass but void of other people - as if we were the only ones here.

 

I nod and take my seat. The grass felt slightly prickly against my pants, but was mostly easy to ignore. “What did you bring us here for?” I ask, curious as to why we’re staying out when the night was slightly chilly. “You know you can’t stay out on a cold night too long,” I remind him.

 

He plops down on the grass, and looks up at the sky. “I know… I just missed looking at the skies with you! Remember when we were kids and we looked at the stars?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“I thought I was going to become one back then, didn’t I?”

 

“You did…”

 

“But… I guess stars aren’t so bad!” I was about to open my mouth and retort, but Riku cut me off and continued, "I mean, you get to wish on them too, and… even though there are times I get attacks, I managed to have a few of my wishes granted!”

 

I gave him a curious look, and got him to continue.

 

“Well… I got to see you again… Then IDOLiSH7 is doing well… You’re not ignoring me and you’re spending more time with me too! I also wished for our parents to stay in good health, ehehe.”

 

He looks as if he wanted to say something else, but held himself off.

 

“Anyway, enough about me! How about you Tenn-nii? Have you ever wished upon the stars?”

 

“I have. I wished for a chance for me to correct what I did wrong, and for the fans to still continue enjoying the music TRIGGER makes. You can pretty much guess what other wishes I made in relation to that.”

 

“Ehh. Tell me!”

 

“There’s other things… but back then, there was one wish above all the rest… and that was for you not to become a star so soon.”

 

I felt tears pricking my eyes, like emotions from when I was a child came back to my present self. How scared I was, how much I wanted to believe in something - anything that could save Riku. I shook my head, trying to get rid of those tears. After all, I wouldn’t want to let Riku see me cry when this was a special day for the both of us.

 

Riku kept silent, but had a smile plastered on his face. He looked like he was trying to hold his tears back, but to no effect as they started to fall. “W-wow, I… Tenn-nii, it’s the first time you’ve been this honest with me… I’m… really happy…”

 

I move over a bit closer to him and pat his head. “Silly child.”

 

“I’m not a child anymore, Tenn-nii!”

 

“I know, now let’s head back to your dorm.”

 

“… Tenn-nii, I wouldn’t want you to become a star soon either, okay? We have so many other donut shops to go to! And… fine.”

 

* * *

  


I open the door to my bedroom, and plop down my bed as Riku did with the grass earlier. Our exchanges were stuck in my mind, but one thought was above all the rest.

 

_“… Tenn-nii, I wouldn’t want you to become a star soon either, okay?_ ”

 

If I became a star before him, I’ll end up leaving him a second time, and this time, permanently - I don’t want him to go through that pain.

 

And I won’t. I swore to myself that I’d do what I can to keep Riku happy this time around. The time I pushed him back were times when I was unsure about myself, but that had to stop. Meeting Riku again was a sign that I should swallow up whatever thoughts and doubts there were, that I had an opportunity to reconcile and make it up for the time I was not around.

 

Once was enough. I let him down, but I’ll do whatever I can to live just a little bit longer than him, so when that time comes… that he really does become a star, then he won’t have to experience being left behind a second time - so he won’t shed tears for me again, but rather, it’ll be me doing just that for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Why did I post this while I'm at work
> 
> Thank you for getting to this part and reading!


End file.
